Female Intern: Are we going to get Disney Channel on here when they're done upgrading the cable system?

Me: No. Only Nickelodeon.Intern: Really? Because ever since they quit making new episodes of "Drake & Josh" it like really, really sucks.

"Stop wrongful convictions with brain fingerprinting!" stamped on to our visitors' log. Go out and check your office's log.

"They took our jobs!" - constintutent that belongs in south park

"Where's the plan, Nancy?"

Constituent reading the Senate Office directory: "Hey, look at this, Hillary Clinton is a Senator!"

"Please tell the Congresswoman to vote for HR 1424 when Congressman Paul Wellstone introduces it this week." - Nameless constituent

Constituent's Child: Mommy, where was the Declaration of Independence written?

Mommy: I think New York when New York was the Capitol...Yes, definitely in New York, where Ben Franklin's from.

Constituent: "And have a good american day"

Me: Are you a constituent of Representative ..........................

Consituent: What's a constituent?